Naomi (demeanour) wrote,

As long as it takes...

I had an interesting conversation with Ian earlier this evening. He asked me, "Why are you putting a time limit on yourself?" I said it served two purposes. Firstly, I can use it to fend off people whom I think little more than a passing fascination with me. More importantly, it makes me stop and think and not simply react to the loneliness. Not that I'm utterly in despair or anything, though I know I've had days and moments where I have despaired. I think sometimes it's more a case of being used to being on my own again. This is laughable as when I look at what I had with J it was little more than a sham. I mean for chrissakes, he didn't love me. Ha! I want a love that is not lopsided.

I digress. Back to what Ian was saying, there is no need for any time bar. So although I may be cautious, I'm not really hiding myself away from the world. I've not run away this time.

I'm going to bed. I'm tired.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic